Who I am surrounded by?

Am I a terrible person for wanting to just talk to someone?  For the past years, there’s been something missing in my life.  I keep looking through all these doors.  I find things, but it just isn’t right.  I want to sit down, have a conversation with someone and feel completely comfortable with who I am.  I don’t want to fight for their acceptance or act like I have it all together.  I’m tired of these fony conversations of “Hi, How are you?” when I know they don’t care.  I don’t mean to be cynical, how is there anyone out there who truly cares how I feel? What’s wrong with wanting someone to understand.  It’s typical teenage drama but I feel like it won’t ever end.  When will I find myself? Or people I don’t want to punch in the face after they talk.  I use  to dream about being 16.  Driving, friends, parties.  I feel like I put on this mask and if I take it off, people won’t recognize me. They’ll question me.  The truth is, I’m afraid of being singled out because the truth hurts.  In my head I’m constantly trying to justify my actions.  What is missing in my life & when will I find it?  I’m tired of being the girl who quiet and mean.  I want to be brand new.  I can’t tell if its me, or my generation.  I’ve always been the odd girl out.  I’m scared to dance alone or be judged.   I want to be the girl who knows how to dance by herself.

I’m scared.  I’m 16 and the world is at my finger tips.  

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