Rant

I moved to Sarasota years ago.  I haven’t visited New York since.  During the first few months I still had most of my friendships, then I started losing more and more..  They always asked when I would come back.  Truth is, I’m scared.  I know the show must go on, so why would my friends stop their lives because I left?  They wouldn’t and they didn’t.  Sometimes it felt like it became better when I wasn’t around.  I thank Sarasota for letting me to grow up & mature.  It allowed me to spend time with myself and not worry if I had my girlfriends escorting me to the bathroom.  It scary because it made me realize how terrifying my mind is.  So their lives continued but I was so stupid to let them live in my memory.  They were all I had.

But now I’m realizing how come some of my “best friends” didn’t visit me? Or even say that idea.  How come it was always me.  Even now, I know my best friend in the entire world is in Florida.  She kept saying how she will visit me.  Ends up I’m the one texting her, asking for the details.  She can’t even tell me “oh sorry, we couldn’t make it.”  My favorite part, the part where we forget we exsist till the next 4 months till we like each other’s facebook picture.  Thanks.

How come I’m suppose to spend my summer in New York.  Well of course I want to, but for different reasons.  I want to rediscover my city.

Best friends don’t exist till you’re mature.

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