Nothing has been okay for a long time

There is too many unsolved problems in this house hold.  We have adapted to our own personal setting and became roommates.  We are no longer a family.  We no longer eat dinner together, treat each other with respect or even listen to each other.  It goes in one ear and goes out the other.  We don’t want to deal with problems because we know the outcome. We don’t try.  It seems like the one person who does hold this family has always been right and we have been to stupid to realize that our actions then would break us apart sooner then expected.  Nothing bothers me more then when someone thinks I am over reacting, that this is coming out of the blue and I am just doing this, because I want too. No. I want to fix this problem before it gets worse, because I could already tell what the future holds and its nothing good.  No one listens unless you are cursing and yelling loud enough for your empty neighborhood to hear every word.  Its because no one would think your serious if you speaking in a melo tone.  Smart people learn from watching other peoples mistakes, stupid people learn from their own.  I wish I had a better relationship with my brother, we were so close when we were young.  I know he has so much more potential but is lazy.  He is in high school, this is go big or go home time and he is wasting it on a video game.  All summer long, he barely went outside, we constantly tell him what to do over & over again and he does not want to be successful.  It breaks my heart when my own mother could be so selfish that she doesn’t even want to deal with it.  She rather finish her stupid Russian sitcom that is so easy to predict the ending rather than asking her son how was his day and where’s his homework, instead of pushing him hard enough to excel.  This is the problem with the last child, mothers think they will be the ones who are forever young.  They forget that they are also growing up and they need to have some support, a little tough love never hurt anyone.  The problem will increasingly get worse if we don’t stop it now. She is the women who thinks everyday is literally a new day, the mess that happened last night weren’t real and they will go away if we forget about it.  No.  It is still in my mind, I am still in shock because of it.  This is why when I have a breakdown, it seems strange.  Its the breaking point and people need to realize that this is not a cry for attention but the final straw.  


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